Stranded Without a Tan

I don’t know what Guy Sebastian is on about, but I certainly do NOT share his love affair with elevators. Perhaps my dislike for them could be due to the fact that I was stuck in one for over half an hour last night! Why is it always on the way home from work and never on the way to work? Considering I’m on the 24th floor I have no choice but to take the lift (unless of course you want to find me passed out in the stairwell somewhere between Level 10 and 15).

Obviously I had plenty of time to think about being trapped inside this small box. Some thoughts that promptly came to mind:

• Thank GOD it’s only me in here!
• Why couldn’t I be stuck in here with some hot guy?
• Well it’s not like I could do anything anyway…
• Hmmm… it’d be great if my man was in here… he he
• I wonder how long I’ll be in here for?
• I can’t believe it – the one day I didn’t bring my book, that’d be right.
• Oh crap! I have a spray tan tonight – I better make it in time or someone’s gonna get hurt…
• I’m bored – who can I call?
• “Lady, how much longer will they be?”
• Okay, I’m getting really frustrated now!
• Hmmm…there’s no music in here.
• Do I have enough water just in case?
• Why couldn’t I get stuck in one of the new elevators? This one smells…
• I wish there was someone else in here to talk to.
• GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
• Okay, I have 10 minutes left before I’m not going to make my appointment
• 5…
• 4…
• 3…
• I’m MOVING!!!
  
  AVD
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  PS Just in case you were worried, I did make it to my tanning session. Turned out the automated door on the booth was misbehaving, however the owner assured me it was fine and called out "if you get stuck in there, just push the door open…"

It’s a Dog’s Life

Yesterday afternoon I was hurrying to make my wax appointment (FYI if you’re after an incredible waxing experience visit http://lessmooth.com) when all of a sudden a car came to a screeching halt on the main road. I quickly looked over just in time to see a lunch break runner get skimmed by the bonnet and roll onto the footpath. Passers by stopped to make sure he was ok; at this point he rose to his feet and proceeded to apologise to the driver! Excuse me?

Around Christmas time last year, our precious little Lulu was struck down in a horrifying hit and run incident. The beastly (poor excuse for a man) didn’t even pause to hit the breaks! Fortunately my husband and I were witness to such brutality. As I ran over to the dog, my man hurled himself into his “racing car” and sped off after the attacker. Managing to track the speeding driver down, hubby continued to escort him back to the scene of the crime. After exchanging a few heated words, we came to an agreement - the driver would pay for any extensive injuries that Lulu had endured.

After a trip to the specialist and over three thousand dollars later, I am pleased to report that Lulu is alive and well (sporting a slight limp, but alive nonetheless). Upon calling the driver we were astonished to find that our little pup had caused some minor damage to the front of his car. You can imagine our anguish and heartache after hearing such bad news. Of course we asked how his car was and if there was anything we could do. He went on to tell us that his pride and joy was at the mechanic being worked on. How could we be so cold and insensitive as to expect him to worry about our dog when his car was in such bad condition?

Again, we came to an arrangement – only this time we would pay for our baby and he would pay for his. Tremendous, just tremendous…

AVD
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Keep The Colour - Lose The Spots!

Over the weekend I picked up a whole lot of photos that my Mum had put in to be developed. As usual, the shop assistant wanted to make sure the photos belonged to me and I wasn’t just some random person stealing other people’s memories. He pulled a photo out of a pack and I proceeded to tell him, that no, these were not my photos and that he had better check again. As he was frantically looking under the counter I took another look at the photo. Staring in disbelief I realised that the girl lying half naked on a sunbed was in fact, me! I looked for a long time and thought back to when it was taken. It must have been years ago – I was lying in the sun with probably little or no sunscreen covering my bronzed body. Ah, those were the days. Fast-forward to present day and you wouldn’t catch me outdoors without 30+ smothered all over!

If you were to check in my bathroom cabinet you would find amongst all the make-up, skin care and moisterisers, a vast array of fake tanning lotions. Beside these, you will see about five or six different brands of sunscreen. Check up top behind my mirror and yep, you guessed it – more sun care - this time for my face. I prefer Megan Gale’s Invisible Zinc as it is a broad-spectrum sunscreen with very high protection against UVA & UVB rays, is mineral oil free and non-greasy.

My skin is prone to being somewhat stubborn and very Australian. I know that if I do not cover up I will gain a beautiful tan, along with some gorgeous freckles and if I’m lucky some super premature wrinkles. Later on I’m sure I’d have a few skin spots and perhaps cancers to go with my aging skin – keeping all of this in mind, why on earth would you want to expose your irreplaceable limbs to the harsh Aussie sun?! After giving up baking my skin to the point where it’s crispier than a Macca’s french fry, my freckles have already faded, my wrinkles are being kept at bay (for the time being) and my pale skin is nothing that a quick spray tan can’t fix!

AVD

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Money, Money, Money, Muuney, Maahhnney

After flicking through the latest New Woman magazine in my lunch break, I was disturbed to read of a recent study claiming that ‘more than 500 Australian women in their twenties found they would rather eat chocolate in a Holden than drink champagne in a limo’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a piece of Cadbury’s in front of the tele on occasion (I am a woman after all) and I love riding in my husband’s Holden SS Ute (really, honey, I do). However I would like to know exactly when chocolate took precedence over living! Drinking champagne in a limo is not just drinking champagne in a limo. It’s about having a taste of a certain lifestyle, existing on a luxurious, cultivated, and superior universe.

Oh come on, you can’t tell me you have never indulged in a little harmless flirtation with the idea of being fabulously wealthy. I know I do on a daily basis – just walking through my local shopping centre is harmful enough to my mental health. I walk past stores such as Cue or Witchery and have to physically restrain myself from running in and trying on every “latest trend” item in the shop! My larger than life mortgage does absolutely nothing to help my cause, nor does my mediocre paying job.

I am convinced I was born to be rich. Why else would I have this deep yearning for expensive clothes, jewels, cars and houses - ANYTHING I can’t afford? My husband tells me I should work harder, but I’m afraid he fails to see my point. Where is the fun in that? If I were rich I wouldn’t have to work now would I?

I guess money isn’t the be all and end all – as long as you have your health, your family and love and yadda yadda yadda…. you know the drill. For now I will continue to dream of a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget!

AVD
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Finding Time to Find Time

In today’s world it’s difficult enough to fit in three square meals a day, let alone find time to go to work, sleep and spend time with the ones we love. Oh, and did someone say exercise?

Time can be a constant problem for people who are overworked, stretched in too many directions and have difficulty balancing all aspects of their lives. As a result, you live in a state of constant frustration, exhaustion, and feeling squeezed on all sides.

Sound familiar? Why is it that as humans we are not fulfilled unless every minute of every hour is crammed with “important” tasks? Our workloads just keep getting heavier and our precious time at home is suffering. There is such a thing as work/life balance and I believe we need to apply some ground rules.

The favorite solution to saving time is to get up earlier in the morning. Now I don’t know about you, but I am certainly not about to give up my 40-minute sleep in. Another time saver might be scrubbing your shower whilst you’re in there, getting clean. I’m sorry, but jumping in the shower after pressing my snooze button 10 times in a row just doesn’t sound all that enticing – and what ever happened to saving water? I’m just thinking of the environment here.

In regards to exercise, the truth is, there's never a right time to get moving. I can list plenty of excuses for not getting fit. Somewhat sadly however, the experts say that just ten minutes a few times throughout the day equates to an exercise program. That crosses the gym after work off my list, what next?

Finding time for sex is easy for those loved up couples who met at the bar last Friday night. But what about the rest of us, the people that realise love will not actually pay the bills? This is generally when sex becomes something you do at night in bed - preferably before you fall asleep. But, after a hard day's work, sometimes there just isn't enough energy left. When you're having sex as often as you like, it doesn't really matter if you have the odd unsatisfactory encounter. But if you're only managing it once a week - if you're lucky - you need to make the most of it. Still not convinced it's worth penciling in a bedroom session? Research shows that regular sex can make you feel and look healthier. When you make love, your body releases substances in the brain that reduce stress and anxiety. It also produces chemicals that create stronger feelings of affection between couples; stimulates growth hormones that reduce fatty tissue and increase lean muscle; and burns off more than 100 calories per hour. That’s a good ten minutes taken from my exercise program!

On a serious note, some people I know believe that money is more scarce and precious than time. They say we should go to school longer, work longer, sleep less. But where would we find new dreams, and what would happen to those beautiful wonderlands between sleep and wakefulness where solutions to problems so often emerge? I say we stop trying to fit so much into our day, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

AVD

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Pipe Dreams

After reading my friend’s latest post on her fabulous blog this morning (check it out at http://girlwithasatchel.blogspot.com), I sit and contemplate if it is possible for me, myself to write. I have decided to go with yes, it is achievable and I can do anything I put my mind to. So here goes…

Why is it that we so often doubt our ability to perform? Shouldn’t we be the first to back ourselves and inform others of just how wonderful we really are? Perhaps it could be that we are fearful of the outcome if we actually attempt to succeed.

I have many brilliant aspirations that all sound just marvelous in my mind, yet if you asked me to follow through with any of them, all of my courageous endeavours would magically turn into dangerous wagers. After all, let’s be honest, who wants to jeopardise their dignity by running after a fantastic hope? The realisation of a pipe dream usually requires an unlikely succession of events or a complete reform in the dreamer's behaviour. Which is more likely to occurr? I have decided I’m not going to wait around for an unlikely succession of events to change my future.

Have I been to university? No. Have I had many years of experience? No. Am I determined to give it a go? Yes! If I can fulfill my desire to conquer my fear and accept the outcome, I am sure to benefit in more ways than one.

Welcome to my blog…

AVD
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