I must say that I have been extremely fortunate in finding a man that treats me well, loves me without question and supports me in every way. However not every girl has been so lucky in love – or more to the point not every girl is aware of her misfortune.When did women (and some men) become so naïve? I will admit that I have grown up with a wonderful mother who has taught me some invaluable lessons in love and life. It may also be the fact that it is far easier to see flaws in other people’s relationships than it is your own.
I still find it difficult to understand how some men and women can be so simple! Their perception of their partner is so unrealistic to the point it’s just plain embarrassing. How can you be with someone for so long and not even suspect his or her wrong doings?
Furthermore, how can you continue to be with someone knowing of his or her wrong doings? But that’s a whole other blog…
I know of men that constantly cheat on their wives or girlfriends and it leaves me with a sense of disappointment and pain for those women. As Gabrielle and the girls were discussing in Desperate Housewives this week, I would like to pose the question - would you let your friend
know if their spouse was being unfaithful? This is a tricky one, as you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t! My first instinct would be to not get involved. However if this were a very close friend, they would (without doubt) turn around and attack you for not telling them sooner. I’m still convinced it’s better to stay right out of that ugly little picture, especially if the couple in question is married. I mean think about it – how would you like to be living in marital bliss one day, only to be thrown into pandemonium by your best friend informing you of your partner’s extra curricular activities the next?Like a lot of things in life, relationships are not always perfect. There are times when you fight and you feel like killing each other (ok, well maybe that’s taking it a bit far). My point is that you and your partner are the only ones that can decide on your future. Nobody else has the right to do that for you and if they try to justify their actions by using the excuse “I was just doing it for your own good, I thought you’d want to know” feel free to punch them square in the face (joking, but not really).
I believe that if you are that close to your partner and you trust each other with everything you have, there is no need to rely on others to keep you from feeling insecure. A little jealousy and emotion is healthy for a working couple, yet if you’re tearing your hair out wondering when your significant other will be home, it may be wise to confront them before your friends get to you first…
AVD
x
2 comments:
Your mother is like a freakin' oracle when it comes to life and love – she always has something wise to say. You're lucky to have had such a role model in your life, to guide you through your marital ups and downs. But you also seem to be really in tune with your internal compass - the gut feeling/sense of what's right and wrong.
You also have what a lot of women lack – self respect (you've never been one to just follow the crowd, you stay true to your values and have the confidence to know what a great package you are).
This is also hugely attractive to men, and your man, because you won't be led, you're not a pushover.
The worst thing is that staying in a bad relationship can make your self-esteem worse, making you more inclined to stay with the bastard when he cheats or treats you badly. You convince yourself that that's 'just the way things are'. You become too scared to leave him – who will you hang out with, who will love you?!
I've relied a lot on my intuition - two boys have cheated on me in the past few years, and have been deliberately deceptive, and I nipped it in the bud before things got out of control. Had I not had my self respect, I'm not sure how things would have turned out.
Thanks for the food for thought!
Erica x
My pleasure Miss Erica! I am so glad you are with the right man today - he treats you so well and I honestly believe that he would never disrespect you the way you have been in the past.
Remember - if you get into trouble, you always have Jen the oracle to give you any guidance!
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